Heaviness
My heart is heavy. I had two real traumas in January. The first was when my dad called to disown me. The second came much later in the month, and it had to do with my job. The agency where I work is...
View ArticleHurting and Angry
Yesterday, I experienced high anxiety all day long. I had to rely on a medication I have for those kinds of days. I also took a nap and restarted my day. When I woke up from the nap, I did all my...
View ArticleTen Years Blogging
I started blogging ten years ago today. Wow! Where has the time gone? When I look at old entries, I’m amazed at the change. Ten years ago, I was beset by despair. Today, I live in hope of things...
View ArticleBeing Gentle
I woke up after sleeping seven and a half hours in a panic. I was suddenly awake and afraid. I wanted to stay in bed, but it was useless. I was unavoidably awake. I struggled through my morning...
View ArticlePanic upon Waking
I realized yesterday as I was carefully going through my day that I’ve been waking in a panic often the past six or seven weeks. It’s just a sign of the trauma my parents caused by disowning me. I know...
View ArticleThe Plan
I had a session with my psychologist after work yesterday, and it was obviously timely. I needed it badly. Anyone who read yesterday’s post will understand I was not in a good mood. He helped me...
View ArticleStaying Sane in a Pandemic
Everyone is aware that we are in a time of a pandemic due to a novel coronavirus (COVID-19). I have had anxiety related to the illness. For the most part, I’m remaining calm. I attribute this to my...
View ArticleUncertain Times
These are uncertain and scary times right now. The novel coronavirus that causes COVID-19 that is sweeping the planet is really frightening to a lot of people. If you are afraid, know that your...
View ArticleI Don’t Feel Good
I woke in a panic attack yesterday at 4AM. As usual with these things for the past two months or so, I was having a nightmare about my dad. It set the mood for the whole day. I was on edge all day...
View ArticleFeeling the Regrets
It’s been a bit since I last wrote. I’m working from home. My state has a stay-at-home order, so I’m not going out except to the grocery store or the pharmacy. I do go out for some exercise by speed...
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